Here you go.

I thought I'd share a few pictures because, well, Emma asked me to, and there may be a few random people out there, that might want to know what I look like these days...so here I am at 33 weeks.  Now I am 36.5 weeks.  I probably weigh about 3-5 lbs more now, so I probably look about the same.  Moving on...

Since I'm posting pictures, it was easy to go ahead and down load a few more.  I have absolutely loved decorating my mantle this year.  I don't know what it is, but I have just gotten so much joy from doing a little something fun with each season.  I did this after Valentine's day, and love it so much, I will likely leave it up for a while-through the summer, as I may not feel up to changing it for a while when the baby comes!  I like that it works for spring and summer.  I am however, still planning on buying a patriotic wreath for the front door!  Right now I have a really pretty/glittery sunflower hanging.

I like this picture because it does two things--shows off two of my goofy kids who LOVE to pose in any picture possible.  And it shows their personalities--Cora is striking a pose, and Bryant is just happy to be in a picture, getting attention!  And of course, the original reason I was trying to take a picture was to capture my Easter-egg center piece!  I try to keep the mantle a little more dignified, but in the kitchen I like to do fun, silly decorations.  The kids love it.  I think they rearranged the egg ornaments a hundred times.  On Easter day, I actually had an egg table cloth and Easter egg plates, and a big banner to make it even more fun!  I know I am turning into one of "those" people.  And it's funny, because I used to be so uptight, judgmental and snooty about how people celebrate holidays.  Now that I have these children, I have just realized, I love to make them smile, I love to celebrate with them, and do silly things, and create memories.  That's why I do it.  I think that's what these little kids need.  I am sure there are other kids given to other parents with other needs, but, I always do what I feel is good and right, and this is what feels good and right to me.  And I know it could be exactly the opposite for another family, and that's just fine.  And any time my kids ask me if "such and such" character (like the Easter Bunny) is real.  I always just say "he's real, if you want him to be!" or "he's real to people that believe in him!"  Or, I just say "what do you think?" They seem pretty happy with those answers.  Any who...here's the super-cute picture:

Finally, I had to put one with Cash in here!  Here he is on Easter, hunting down eggs in our family Easter-egg hunt.  I was surprised at how well the little guy did!  He found a lot of eggs.  I also love this because he's just in his undies--this was just a week into being potty trained, and I have him in super loose undies so he can easily maneuver them.  Every body thought they looked a little funny, but I do what I have to do!  And he didn't have any accidents!  He is such a sweetie pie!

There you go!  

Dare to blog?

Erick isn't home from work yet (had to drive to Charelston, SC and back), so I'm home, alone, and I've read all the huff post, drudge report, and other news sources (I like to be well rounded!) that I'm going to read, the kids have LONG been in bed, and the kitchen has LONG been clean.  For some reason when I know Erick isn't going to be home, I am super efficient about getting stuff done because I'm worried that I'll get too tired if I put it off, and I am really pregnant...so yeah.  Anyways, so now I look very pregnant.  Any time I go out into public, at least 10 strangers feel the need to comment, sometimes even more.  I asked Erick why he thought this was so and he said it's because a lot of times people are not very sure if someone is pregnant or just a little overweight, but when they see this skinny lady with an enormous belly, they feel very confident that yes, I am pregnant, and like to say all the things they would say to all of those pregnant ladies...blah blah blah.  I kind of think this is true.  A week ago the cashier at Aldi actually physically poked me and asked how much longer I had to go.  I thought that was crossing the line a little.  Come on, look but don't touch!  Here are some of the comments I have received from complete strangers in the last week:

"Wow, ANOTHER baby!!! You already have two!!!"  "Actually, this will be number four, thank you, I have one at school."  "oh my!"

"Oh, this little guy (Cash) isn't going to be the baby anymore!  I bet he won't like that!"  Huh, I guess we'll find out.

"Is it a boy or girl"  "boy"  "oh, he'll be a great big brother"   "that's what I'm hoping for!!!"

"Oh, I love children, I hope you're enjoying it!"  "Don't worry, I am"  What do you say to that???

"Oh, is it a boy or girl?"  "Boy"  "Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?"  "Um, yes, don't worry, we're good"  Walk away quickly.

And repeat, repeat, repeat (except that last one.  It was a one-timer).

Also, I have been nesting like crazy.  About a month ago I was blessed with an AMAZING amount of energy, and I worked as hard as I could every single day to organize, organize, and organize some more.  I probably spent about one or two hundred dollars (who's counting!!!) on sterelite, rubbermaid and other various organization thingys from Target, but it is SO worth it.  My closet is organized, actually ever single closet is organized. And it feels wonderful.  Okay, the kids have put some loving touches/changes on a couple of the closets, but each closet is at least within five minutes of complete organization-ness.  Good enough for me.  I also purged all of Cora's clothes and gave all of her small ones away (kept a few mementos for future grand daughters of course), and went through every single baby boy up to 4t item I own, and sorted them.  It took forever, but now, when the baby comes home, I will have everything I need in an extremely large rubbermaid ready to go! The best thing of all, is that I feel a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  It feels good to know everything is in it's very own place.

Now, I feel free to do some other things like make some things and store them in the freezer for post-baby (including plenty of popsicles and treats!).  During the last month or so I also had a great desire to take care of some big projects that involved Erick.  We have had tile for three years that has been waiting to go into our downstairs bathroom.  Cute ideas from pinterest finally pushed me into begging Erick to stop working on his trucks and give a little TLC to our bathroom and laundry area.  Of course, when Erick is going to do something like tile, all of a sudden we need to completely redo everything including toilet, vanity, sink, paint, the works.  That was fine with me.  So he did; heaven bless that man.  I now have an amazing bathroom, and laundry area that I really like.  I really detested our old bathroom.

A couple of weeks later, I noticed that I suddenly hated our front land scaping.  It had so many weeds and was so hard to maintain, I wanted to re-do it, but that's really hard when you can't bend over a lot, and you have no idea what you are doing, or what to do.  I told Erick that I didn't know why, but all of a sudden all I could think about was how much I hated our landscaping, and if he would just help me plan a new plan, I would start working on it, and he could just help IF he wanted to.  So we made a new plan, and I did start to work on it.  And Erick, being Erick, saw me using the manual clippers, and then came over with some electric ones and trimmed all the bushes 1000 times faster than I could.  I started raking away all of the weeds for a couple of days, and one night he came with his rake and did it all and I just wheeled away wheel barrel load after load.  Finally he just told me not to worry and spent an entire Saturday laying weed barrier, mulch, and then some gorgeous decorative stone, topped off with a few accent planters with monkey grass.  It looked so good, I wanted to cry.  I really don't deserve him, but I certainly will keep him as long as I can!!!  Which in my case, is eternity.  Phew.

Finally, in all of my nesting, I decided that I didn't know how I would ever potty train Cash with a newborn, or any-size baby.  I know people do it all of the time, I have never been one of those people, so I was scared.  I decided to go ahead with it.  Cash was right at 22 months old when I did the big "training day" and all I could think of was how crazy I was for trying it, but I knew it would work, and did my best to make it a positive experience.  For anyone who wants to potty train...22 months is a little too young in my opinion.  I think it would have been easier if he was 24-28 months (the sweet spot for training in my opinion), but I did not have the luxury of waiting if I wanted to do it before the baby.  I did prepare like it was a marathon.  I was ready, and I did it, and it was a long morning, but he figured it out and went on that potty.  The next week, he felt the need to test me in every single situation possible--you mean I still have to use the potty when I'm in the play room?  What about the kitchen?  Oh goodness, but now, a month later, he uses the potty.  And anyone that thinks that they can truly potty train a child in a day is kidding themselves.  But I've found it's a good start, and it really takes about a month, a little less if you're lucky.  It certainly has not made my life any easier though.  I have to bend over all the time, and he now is insulted when I put on his diaper at night and does everything in his power to escape his lumbering, slow, mother.  It is pretty exhausting.  I just tell myself, we would have had to do it eventually either way, and now it's done (mostly).  Besides, he is so proud of himself, and has earned tons of jungle animal figures, which he loves because he was afraid of going #2 for a while, so I used the animals as a motivator.

Okay, Erick came home a half hour ago.  I should go talk to him.  I hope you have enjoyed my little slice of blogging.        

The Joy of Eating.

It's been a little while since I wrote, and Erick is changing something or another on his truck tonight, so I figured I'd give the internet world a slice of what I've been thinking lately. You want to know what I've been thinking? First of all, I have been thinking of about a million different things, and all of them all the time. But to get slightly more specific, I tend to think about FOOD. Yes, as a pregnant person, I have been reduced to the lowest common denominator. FOOD. I have almost no will power any more, and since I always struggle to gain weight in pregnancy, I pretty much have the green light to go for whatever I want!!! But seriously, I do feel pathetic about it. I like to think that I have self control, and that I can make wise choices, but last week, after an hour of swimming with Cora, I realized after we pulled out of the parking lot that I was so hungry, I was literally shaking. I didn't know if I could make it home ( especially not to the sad sight of something like a plain sandwich), and all of a sudden, I knew exactly what was going to happen. Cook Out. Hush puppies, grilled chicken, french fries, corn dogs, Coke float, I wanted it all, and you bet your bottom dollar I went right through that drive through and had about five puppies to tide me over till' we got home. Cash and Cora are loving my new-found obsession with food. Normally I actually never eat fast food, or do so very, very rarely. But these days, I've just got to have what I want right away, and I've got a pretty good excuse...it is the one thing I like about pregnancy. Food tastes good, and I get to eat what I want.

After Cash was born, I felt so busy and overwhelmed that I literally only ate when I realized I was starving and could not continue folding the endless loads of laundry, or spending 45 minutes nursing, or cleaning up puke or whatever. I was soooo tired all the time, and did not enjoy food at all. Slowly, as I started to put my life back into balance, I began to enjoy my life again (along with food), and began making my own yogurt, bread, tortillas and all that good stuff. I truly felt like I was flourishing. I love to flourish by the way. That's how I feel when I am truly happy; like I am flourishing. So then I had to go and get pregnant again, and the flourishing thing has gone out the window, but now I am creeping out of the sick-pregnant lady stage/tired all the time to a lesser degree of flourishment, but flourishing all the same. I've actually been thinking a lot about the word of wisdom (our church's dietary guidelines) and trying to figure out exactly how I can live them to the fullest extent. I think it is a real journey, and different for each person. Sometimes I feel like some people have had extreme (or what I considered at the time to be extreme, but I actually feel like I understand now) views, and they try to force them on me, but as I've slowly pondered what I think I should do, I've decided to make some changes to my diet, and have actually had so much fun over the last couple of months trying some new things!

First of all let me state: If I want cook out, I am getting cook out. If I want a burger, I will get one, but I am trying to consume less meat over all. I decided to limit our menu plan to one week night entree including meat per week about six weeks ago, and am proud to say, I have stuck to it (with a lot of help from pinterest!). I think it is actually a lot easier to cook without meat because it just takes less time and one less step. I am so shocked that after 28 years of being a regular meat eater, I have not missed it in our meals at all. That is not to say I only eat meat at one meal per week. Erick will sometimes bring home lunch that has meat, or we'll make a big meal with meat for our one night and it ends up making tons of leftovers that I eat for lunch for a few days, so it's definitely less meat, but meat still ends up in my diet more than one time a week most weeks. Either way, I am not sure if I want to eliminate it totally or not. I am comfortable with this, and will continue this way as long as I feel that way. The neatest thing has been trying new things and in new combinations. Just yesterday, I made my favorite curry and instead of chicken, I used cashews. It was DELICIOUS. I mean, I wanted to cry it was soooooo good. My kids gobbled it up too. Also, I have finally learned how to make pizza! I realized pizza is a super easy way to have a meatless meal ( and seriously, I don't really count the one and a half pieces of pepperoni that end up on my slice as being our "meat meal" of the week...I said I'm not strict!). I tried this recipe for pizza crust and am now in love. My kids think I'm a rock star now that I can make tasty pizza. I hear things like "Mom! This is the best night Evarrrrrrr!" when I make pizza. So without further adieu, I am going to share my curry recipe, and then my pizza topping favorites, so maybe you can enjoy the bliss that is this deliciousness (if you are pregnant, you will probably enjoy this even more):

Mango Cashew Curry

1 can coconut milk

1 (or two) mangoes

2 potatoes cooked and sliced (optional)

1 cup frozen green beans thawed (this is how we use all of our green beans we freeze from our garden)

1/2 cup to 1 cup chopped cashews

1-2 tsp red curry paste or other curry paste of your choice

1 tsp salt

coconut

Your favorite rice

First, get the rice going. If you are lucky like me, your rice cooker has a steam basket, so I peel and chop my potatoes and put them in the basket, and when the rice is done, my potatoes are as well

Next, peel your mango and cut all the fruit off the big pit/seed thing. Pour coconut milk into blender and then add your mango. Puree this. I like mine chunky so I can get nice chunks of mango, but if you don't like a lot of texture, puree until smooth. Pour the puree into a pan, then simply add green beans, cut up, cooked potatoes, and cashews, and salt. IF YOU HAVE KIDS, go ahead and dish theirs up before you add the curry unless they just love curry. The curry is pretty spicy and mine won't eat it, but they love the sauce without it. Okay, now add your curry.

Serve over your favorite rice (I choose jasmine for this dish) and then top with coconut and if you have a second mango you can slice it up and add to the top for added flavor. I am unfortunately allergic to fresh mango and don't do this, but can eat it when cooked! Store any leftovers separate from the rice (if you combine them the rice will kind of soak it up...it's gross, just trust me), and it is honestly better the next day!

Next:

Pizza awesomeness~

These are the three pizza combos I did after following this recipe pretty much exactly for the crust. Just a tip to people that don't love making their own bread, the dough is ready when it has JUST reached the point of when you touch it, it doesn't stick to your finger, but bounces back. It should not be super sticky! So as soon as you get to that point, you are done! Don't add any more flour! Okay, her recipe says it makes two pizzas, well the only stone at target was pretty small, so I make three pizzas. Here is what I did tonight:

1: Plain jane pepperoni

-pizza sauce

-mozzarella cheese

-pepperoni

cook for 10 minutes on my stone that has been waiting for me in a 500 degree oven. Perfect.

2: Garden veggie

-about two TBL basil pesto-spread thin layer over dough

-then top with mozzarella cheese

-I cut up a tomato, about four mushrooms, and a small zuccini, tossed them in a bowl with a little olive oil and salt and poured it over the cheese.

same baking instructions as above.

3: Baked potato pizza

-When I was a teenager we would sometimes order pizza from a gourmet pizza place and this was my favorite. It is now out of business, but I never forgot it, and tonight, I finally recreated it! It was delicious!!!!

-alfredo sauce-I have had a jar of this stuff in my pantry for who knows how long because I think it tastes gross on pasta, but would be just the right thing for this pizza. I was right. You could use home made if you really want to be a super star though. Spread liberally over pizza dough.

-sliced cooked potato. I just boiled a small pot of water and cooked three small potatoes, for 15 minutes, then halved them, then sliced them. I put a layer on over the alfredo sauce. How many you use will be a matter of taste. I put a lot, but definitely left space in between each one.

-cheddar cheese: Apply liberally over the potatoes!

-bacon!!! I buy precooked bacon from sams club (not bacos! But actual precooked, crumbled bacon). Sprinkle liberally over cheese. If you have to, you can cook some bacon, chop it, and sprinkle that--do what you have to do!

Now, bake on the 500 degree stone for 10 minutes and you're good to go! Serve with sour cream for dipping! I LOVED all three of these pizzas-especially the potato one. The only problem I ran into was getting the pizza from my preperation area to the actual scalding hot stone. The recipe I used suggested using corn meal, but that did not go so well for me. I tried plenty of flour and a big spatula to get it to slide and that worked okay, but was still a little scary, so anyone with any tips, please share! And, if I were a real blogger I would have taken pictures. But I am not, so just use your imagination, and I'll try and remember for next time!

INITIATE RANT HERE:

Don't ask me why, but I am so ticked tonight. It is for a very silly reason, but it doesn't change the way I feel. Here goes: Bryant (SIX YEARS OLD) is NOT allowed on my computer for any reason whatsoever EVER. Even though every now and again, I do allow him a small bit of time to somewhat relieve his addictive self and play computer, but it is very rare. I can't be mean all the time right? But I constantly catch him oh, just "checking the time" "checking the weather" "checking the school lunch calendar" "changing the pandora station" and my favorite, playing music on the media player. Even though, every single day, I tell him that even just "checking" things is not allowed because somehow these things wind up messing up my computer or changing settings that I have no idea how to change.

And today was no exception. I heard signing time music streaming through the computer, which he is not allowed to do which he did anyways, which should not even require the internet, and yet somehow when I sit down to check my stuff after putting the kids down to bed, I open up google chrome to a completely blank home page where all of my favorite tabs should be. Big deal right? Well, it should not be a big deal. Except that it is. I LIKE my favorite tabs. It annoys me that they are now gone, and I have absolutely no idea how to bring them back. It is frustrating. And I know that I am not really THAT frustrated about this, that this is only a small problem that is just symptomatic of a much larger problem, but it is literally making me feel crazy tonight.

So what are the real problems here that are really bothering me? Well, there's at least ten of them to be honest. For starters, as a person that inherently does not like change, I have really learned to roll with the punches over the last several years. You don't really have a choice when you decide to have lots of kids...if you want to be happy, you learn to deal with change, and be optimistic and all that. You learn to be patient and to wait for good things to happen, and they do. But somewhere, inside, I like to just have a couple of things that I don't have to change. For example...I like Sam's club. I am not a big Costco fan. I don't care that everybody and their cat LOVES costco, I just like sams. I don't have to change that. I can shop at Sams club forever and never have to change. I think that's AWESOME. I feel the same way about my little google chrome tabs. I really liked that they were my favorites. I know this is so silly as I am typing it, but it still doesn't change that I am so bummed about Bryant somehow deleting everything. I am even chuckling to myself as I am writing this ridiculous post, but it is still the truth. I bet some of you think I need real problems. I actually pride myself in being able to deal quite well with the real problems in life, but I think part of that is because I hold onto these tiny little bits of myself that I feel like I can just leave the same, and when someone messes with them, especially when I am pregnant and had to miss book club, I get ticked off.

In my current situation, I am literally almost never alone. In fact, a lot of the day features someone climbing on me. Any time I sit down, that is a signal for someone to ask me for something. Most of the times when I make dinner there is at least one comment about how gross it is. You have to be pretty tough to make it in this world. I still also have sooooo many aspirations for other factions in my life, but right now, this is the path I have chosen, and this is what I want to be doing. But gal-darn-it I WANT MY @*#&$^& tabs where I %#!*@ left them!

Also, there is currently a crippling fear floating around my brain that having this 4th baby will be too hard, and that my summer is going to be miserable and depressing. I think that kind of puts a damper on things too. I love to flourish and create, and live life to my interpretation of it's fullest potential. I can't do that right now because I am pregnant, and I'm okay with that. This pregnancy I am actually doing pretty fabulously mentally-speaking, and I have a really good feeling about the remainder of my nine months, even though I generally do not enjoy being pregnant. But when the baby is born, I just really don't know what to expect, except that I'll be super tired, and I absolutely hate being tired. I guess in the end I just fear the unknown.

As I'm typing this (I'm totally analyzing myself), I'm realizing that I'm simply coming from a place of fear. I also hate fear. I know we're on this earth to face challenges, to suffer, but also more than anything to experience joy. When I was trying to decide if I should have another baby, I realized that my pregnancy though hard, painful, and uncomfortable, could be a joyful experience, and this new attitude which I did not have with my previous pregnancies has led me to be able to be a happy pregnant person. When I realized that pregnancy did not have to be super-horrible and that I could be happy, the decision was pretty easy, and we are having #4. And for some reason, that simple realization on my part has set a very positive tone for this time around which I can also see reverberating through the rest of my family and especially my spouse! So, I guess it is about time, I decide to be a happy new, tired mom, and realize that maybe it will be possible for me to be happy when the new baby comes. I'll tell you when I get there.

PS. Did you like my little self-exploration there?

Update

I just wanted to do a quick facebook status update, but then I realized I had too much to say, so I came back to my trusty blog. It's about time for a new post anyway. So we had a great Thanksgiving with Greg, his wife Heather, Rex and new baby Alice, along with my mom and dad. Unfortunately, I felt like a bum because I was not feeling well, and teetered between being so tired I wanted to take a three hour nap, and feeling nauseated, so I don't think I was a very good guest. I'm hoping to make up for my Thanksgiving performance with a hosting a very lovely Christmas. We'll see how that goes. So here's the rundown of cute/random stuff going on 'round here:

Me-if you don't already know, yes I am expecting our 4th child. If you want to know...when you are pregnant with your fourth, at least 20 people will ask you if it was an accident. Maybe more. No, it was not an accident. We have our reasons. And any person that thinks that the more children you have, the less attention they get has obviously never been a part of a big family, or their big family was lame. Last night Erick and I were discussing that Cash is literally ALWAYS playing with someone. He gets attention literally all day. If he's not helping Daddy outside, he's helping mom cook in the kitchen, and if he's not helping mom, he's wrestling Cora (which is their favorite thing to do), or throwing a ball with Bryant. There is 24/7 interaction going on around here! So I'm not worried about having enough time for this next little one, I'm more worried about making it through the next 6 months without dying of hating being pregnant, or being buried under a huge pile of laundry.

-Erick-amazing as always. Anecdote time: Erick forgot to tell me we were having the missionaries for dinner and I found out in Sacrament meeting when Bryant looked at the program and saw that it was our night. Erick also planned all of his home teaching for tonight, and said it would be fine. I took the lazy person's way out and threw some potatoes in the oven, made a blue cheese wedge salad (seriously, they are my FAVORITE thing right now), and thanked heavens that I had a random box of jello no-bake cheescake, and quickly made that too. While we're all setting the table, setting out toppings for the potatoes and such, and straightening up the house Erick decides that he would like to make something for his four familes (three inactive). So he proceeds to whip out some pretzel rods, almond bark, and sprinkles and make the loveliest chocolate-dipped pretzel rods, then wraps them very artistically in parchment paper and Christmas ribbon all in about TEN minutes. The missionaries come, eat, and then he's off with his pretzels. I wish I were as good of a visiting teacher as he is a home teacher!

-Bryant- Is SO EXCITED about Christmas! We decorated the inside of the house the day after Thanksgiving, and I surprised Bryant and Cora with their own little pre-decorated Christmas trees (they are only about 8" tall or so) that I bought last year the day after Christmas on clearance. The trees may be small, but they did the trick, Bryant and Cora were soooo excited to have a tree of their very own. We also let them each have a strand of lights for their room, and Bryant also snagged a strand of garland and strung that along with the lights around his bed. He also has his own countdown to Christmas sign where he can write how many days are left till Christmas each day. Erick caught him trying to tack a nail to his door so he could hang a "welcome" sign, but we had to draw the line somewhere. And tomorrow, Bryant is taking his little tree to school to show it off. I asked him if his teacher is okay with stuff, and he said "maybe...probably...sometimes." We'll see. Also, Bryant has been making his own lunch, which has been wonderful. It's nice to not have to worry about that anymore!

-Cora-Has enjoyed cooking in her kitchen for me lately. I will sit on the couch while she makes various things like grape smoothies, omelets, pizzas, and cake, and all I have to do is pretend to eat it, and she's happy. She likes to keep a well-stocked kitchen supplied with cups, bowls, and several utensils she borrows from my kitchen. She talks just about every minute she is awake and often makes herself laugh. Most times, I can't even get a word in edge-wise, all I have time to do is nod my head. I think it's so funny that she likes me to sit, and watch, and she's happy. If I accidentally wander away, because I think she's playing just fine without me, she'll come get me. It's nice to know the small part you play in someone's life is an important one. Right now she is really developing her own style, opinions, and personality, and a lot of times she is pretty independent, and mostly is off in adventureland using her amazing imagination. So I like it when she wants me around.

-Cash-HAH, what can you say about Cash? He is simply the apple of everyone's eye around here. The last few days he has decided that he really likes kissing me. And about every five minutes (literally!) he will stop whatever he is doing, climb up into my lap, and plant a big one, right on the lips. I've tried to give him my cheek, but he will persist until I give him a big kiss on the lips! He is the first one to be so into kissing. It's pretty funny, cute, but sometimes a little gross. His obsession with "doggies" is ever-growing. He saw a dog on TV and just ran up to it barking, and wouldn't stop until the dog was off the screen. He loves all of the neighborhood dogs, and any time he hears a bark he says "DOGGY!" and proceeds to bark. We now call the neighbor's dog Cash's dog, because he goes outside so much to peek through the fence at him (and heaven knows the neighbors never pay any attention at all to the poor thing). My friend gave me some fleece material covered in adorable puppies, and I don't think Cash is going to let me hem the edges because he hasn't put it down since we got it today. He's sleeping with it right now. I'd say the chances of us eventually ending up with a dog are rising...rising! Even though I would never consider getting one until our youngest is in kindergarten, we'll see if the obsession continues!

-So there is my little status update. Hope you enjoyed it.

Cashinator

Why do I want to write about this little guy? I don't know. I just feel like it I guess. He's just changing soooo fast. My world is so different today than it was even a month ago. He was little Mr. cuddly for a whole year, and now....well, if he wrote me a letter, it would go a little like this.

Mom,

I just want you to know that I think you're great. I do. But, there's going to be a few changes from here-on out. You know how you like to hold and cuddle me? Well, now that I can walk WITH PROFICIENCY, that is no longer necessary. I no longer need any help with ANYTHING...EVER. Even though I am not even 15 months old yet, I would now prefer to walk in the grocery store instead of ride in the cart. At home, I will climb and descend the stairs at will. I will feed myself, PERIOD. When you futilely try to change my diaper, I will scream my head off and try with every ounce of my twenty pounds (which is actually quite strong if I do say so myself) to wriggle out of your control, and if I can, I will throw my dirty diaper at your face. I will also try to smack you in the face and laugh at it. Even though you are no longer allowed to assist me with anything anymore I would still like you to linger around in my presence enjoying all of the fancy things I have learned how to do. If you so much as attempt to sit down at the computer, open a book, talk on the phone, or walk into another room for any purpose, I will scream at you and come cry and try to climb in your lap until you come back and sit on the floor (definitely not allowed on the couch) and watch me do whatever it is I was doing. I want to make sure you see all of the adorable faces I make and hear my adorable laugh (one of my more redeeming qualities).

The only exceptions to these rules are if I am REALLY tired and am at church, you are then allowed to stand and rock me (sitting is not allowed in this type of situation), and if I am sick. If and when I am sick, I will cut you a break and allow you to change my diaper and rock me as much as possible, as I do not have the strength to do anything else. That is all.

Love, Cash

Ummmmm, that would be it! I'm hoping this might be a phase, but I have been through it all before. This "phase" lasted until Bryant was 3 and a half, gosh, maybe even four. I remember wistfully looking at the mom's in Target who's young children would simply walk next to them as they walked down an aisle. I had to ban Bryant from Wal mart for nearly a year. I wasn't even able to enter a library with him until he was 3, and we left in a tantrum. I don't want to have to do all that again, but I may. The funny thing is, is that Cash and Bryant have such different personalities, but somehow, they are both fiercely independent, and for some reason, they seem to be acting quite similarly (if you compare them at the same age). Luckily, along with the wiggles, and desire to be completely independent before the age of two, they have plenty of wonderful things that I love (like being adorable charmers), and honestly, I do love a good sense of independence, and I know it is a wonderful quality to have as an adult, it just sometimes make for a difficult road for the parent!

Even now, Bryant is a very demanding child, and will test me to my very limit, but he is SOOOO endearing. In his heart he is the very biggest momma's boy, and that is what keeps me wrapped around his little finger. It's almost like we have an understanding. He breaks some rule, I'll give him a consequence, and we always part as friends. He never gets mad at me for imparting a punishment, which is nice, because he does tend to break a lot of rules, and therefore gets a lot of consequences, so the fact that he doesn't think of me as a "mean mom" is nice. He just is usually willing to take the punishment. That's why I'm always tweaking my consequences and rewards to see what will motivate him...anyway, back to Cash. I'm not that certain of his being a mamma's boy yet, but luckily, he is very loving and so happy to be a part of our family, he is just trying to be an individual and figure out what he wants to do. So for now, I will continue trying to accommodate this tiny one-year old with a larger than life personality.

Running a business....

So I know everyone knows I'm doing a window cleaning business with Travis my future brother in law. It's going just dandy. But here's the thing. Travis leaves in a mere three weeks, or maybe it's even two weeks, either way, it's soon. I have been really going back and forth over whether I should keep it going, or just close up shop when he leaves and gets married. Erick some how has convinced me that I should just keep it going, and that it's "good for me" to run a business. I'll admit, most of the time I don't mind it. Most of the time it hasn't been a big deal. The time I put into it kind of comes in spurts. Like having to go set up the bank account or go make it legal at the court house. It hasn't made me any less of a mother to my kids, in fact, if I become profitable, it could allow us a few more luxuries like more lessons/sports, etc. But I guess what it comes down to is that every one (or at least everyone I know) has some degree of free time to do with what they please. Some people watch TV, some people blog, some people, crochet, some people play on facebook, some people read, and some people apparently run window cleaning businesses. I actually enjoy all of the above.

Either way, Erick told me a few tips and today I find myself with a sales team of three eager young men, who are ready to sell for me, and I've already made a power point presentation and planned our first sales meeting. All of this I did after all the kids were in bed, and we're still going to the water park tomorrow. The next couple of weeks will be very telling. Here's hoping I can maintain the balance, and somehow turn this thing into a way to provide some young men in our area who really need work, and also benefit my self and my family. Fun hobby huh?