lp me understand my little guy and be a better parent. In the book it talks about how sometimes we have to let go of those images of the "perfect child" we had before we got a little "spirited" child. It was always my goal to let my child be who they were and to not try and force them into any role, so I don't feel like I went through a grieving process or anything, but things are sometimes very different than I thought they would be. I now have a "typical" baby (aka. Cora), or so I think, and it's so interesting to see how different they are. Anyways, let's discuss all the surprises, good and bad, all the dissapointments; let it all out.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Mom ?????
What has been the biggest surprise for you about motherhood? Have there been any big dissapointments? To go a little more in depth, I've been reading a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" to he
lp me understand my little guy and be a better parent. In the book it talks about how sometimes we have to let go of those images of the "perfect child" we had before we got a little "spirited" child. It was always my goal to let my child be who they were and to not try and force them into any role, so I don't feel like I went through a grieving process or anything, but things are sometimes very different than I thought they would be. I now have a "typical" baby (aka. Cora), or so I think, and it's so interesting to see how different they are. Anyways, let's discuss all the surprises, good and bad, all the dissapointments; let it all out.
lp me understand my little guy and be a better parent. In the book it talks about how sometimes we have to let go of those images of the "perfect child" we had before we got a little "spirited" child. It was always my goal to let my child be who they were and to not try and force them into any role, so I don't feel like I went through a grieving process or anything, but things are sometimes very different than I thought they would be. I now have a "typical" baby (aka. Cora), or so I think, and it's so interesting to see how different they are. Anyways, let's discuss all the surprises, good and bad, all the dissapointments; let it all out.
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Surprise #1 about being a parent: It is so dang EXPENSIVE! I cannot believe how much it costs to have a house, two cars (not new or anything), feed, clothe, and keep everyone with insurance! I think back to the days when Erick and I were in a basement apartment in Idaho working three nights a week as waiters. It was simple. We had an envelope for rent (our utilities were included in the monthly rate), an envelope for the phone bill, an envelope for gas money, an envelope for fun money, and one for savings. That was our way of tracking finances. Now, my mind just spins when I think about how much comes in and out every month. I had no idea back then.
ahhh yes, ignorance is bliss! I think i was definitly surprised by how much I could function on a very small amount of sleep.
I'm surprised by how much i learn from my children about myself opposed to how much I can really teach them.
Suprised about how much poop a baby can generate. And how one teaspoon of milk being urped back up can feel like a tital wave.
Disappointment....mostly they have been in myself reacting to a situation instead of teaching in one. I've got a long way to go on that front. Oh, I guess I'm a little disappointed i didn't have more than one boy, but the one I have is about as sweet as they come. So I'll count my blessing on that one.
My biggest surprise has been how I can go from being so upset with him or something he's done and wanting to push him over or something, to being so in love with him that I can't imagine ever being mad at him. It seems weird to go from one extreme to another within a matter of minutes.
And another thing along those lines is that I didn't think I'd be one of those moms who is absolutely in love with her kids, but I am. Both me and Zach are a little overwhelmed by it. Like, feeling the need to sneak in his bedroom in the middle of the night, risking him waking up, and picking him up and cuddling him. We've done it almost every night this week! Yeah, we're completely obsessed with him.
Another big thing that has surprised me is how all consuming it is to be a mother. The constant stream of thought and how everything is connected... "He needs to eat a good dinner tonight so that he sleeps good, so that he doesn't wake up too early, and then his breakfast needs to get him through to lunch and timing on lunch has to be just right so he can take a good nap, and should I feed him his dinner soon after his nap and then more of a snack while we eat dinner?..." And that's not including the ridiculous process of what he should eat and making sure there's a variety and fruits and vegetables... Yikes. And then if one of those things is out of wack then everything else has to be adjusted... Maybe I'm just a control freak or something. I'm trying to do better at not wanting everything to be perfect. But it is much easier and he is much happier if all those things work consistently well together. I know, he's my only kid so far and EVERYTHING will change once number two comes. I KNOW! I'm getting a little sick of everyone telling me that.
A few weeks ago, my daughter wanted to go and play with another girl - from her bus stop. It was after school, and both my daughter and her friend were standing there with totally pleading eyes. Of course, I said yes, but I also realzed that this was the first time Tanner was playing with a friend - as in, she asked. This was no playdate.
Nothing happened that would concern me. In fact, I was happy that she had the opportunity to play and have fun. I was just surprised at how worried I could be about such a harmless situation. I think it is because I realized that she is growing up. I still have a lot of influence in her life, but this event signified that gradually (within the next ten years), she will go from being a child to an adult.
YIPES!
Katie, everyone probably tells you that things are going to be different with your second because you write things like your comment there (and I'm saying this while chuckling, not judging mind you). I just can't help but laugh. I don't think I've ever been all consumed in thought about all the details. But I'm in no way a detail person. Someone can cut a foot off their hair, and I won't notice. The other night even Erick was a little upset when I didn't notice he had shaved about a year's worth of chest hair off (TMI?).
So you have to understand that there are those of us who just think it's funny. But I do understand going to hold your child in the middle of the night, and cuddling. I actually kind of enjoy it when Bryant isn't feeling well because he likes to cuddle more. Even though it bothers you that people say it's going to be different, we're sorry, we didn't know it bothered you! And it's not that different, you'll still love your kids and if you're a detail person, you'll still be one, you'll probably just get less sleep because you'll have two kids' diets to think about instead of one.
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